Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Randomize
