I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
