eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
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