we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
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