Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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