Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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