nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
