Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
