shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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