Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize
