spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize