Only a mothe r could love this liver
I just threw up on my dentist
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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