if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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