chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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