i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
