Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Randomize
