The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
