Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Randomize
