I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
