i already hear my dad disowning me
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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