I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize