I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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