Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Randomize
