Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
you traded sex for a burrito?
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Randomize
