just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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