You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize
