Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
