wanna go halves on a baby?
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
