I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Randomize
