If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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