Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
The Olympian is in my bed
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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