we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
