I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
