Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Randomize
