Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
