Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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