Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
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