don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
