Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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