I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
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