Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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