I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Randomize
