And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize