Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Let's get the cat blown out
is that a dick in a sweater?
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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