And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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