I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
