Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
