He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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