I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I just want to make out with him forever
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Randomize
