Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Randomize
