your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Randomize
