If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
ttyl tear gas
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
