i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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