The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Randomize
