Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize
