Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
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