shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Randomize
