He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
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