Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Randomize
