Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
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