don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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